I recently came across a quote that read, "If you love hard, don't apologize for your superpower." It came at the right moment. I've always believed each one of us has a superpower—an art—that is unique to us as individuals. I'd like to think mine is creating connections between concepts, people or things that wouldn't otherwise have found that connection. I've also been known to love pretty hard, unapologetically. As strong and confident as I may seem, I have a pretty sensitive spirit and loving hard has definitely been a trait that's been known to work against me. And as positive, open and big my spirit may seem, I feel everything in a very overwhelming way...which can affect me negatively. I've always said, the way I feel energy is my biggest strength and equally my greatest Kryptonite. To be quite honest, sometimes it fucking sucks.
I was reminded of this fact as I was flipping through the pages of a book gifted to me from my great friend Claire, entitled "The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself," by Michael A. Springer. She sent this book to me for my 32nd birthday and suggested I read it before traveling on my solo journey to India. For those of you who know what my attention span is like, you know that I can't make it through a book for the life of me...so it didn't happen after ski season and before India. But it happened when it was supposed to happen. Weeks passed.
I picked up the book a few weeks ago and dove in, instantly connecting to and identifying with the words that graced the pages. And there it was. Chapter 5. "Infinite Energy." My god, these words were written for my soul. And so, I wanted to share them with you. And encourage you to continue to love big, give your beautiful energy to the world, and be comforted in the fact that more good will come out of it than the reverse, and the Universe will only give you as much as you can handle. Please remember that. I've lived that.
...you have a phenomenal amount of energy inside of you. It doesn't come from food and it doesn't come from sleep. This energy is always available to you. At any moment you can draw upon it. It just wells up and fills you from inside. When you're filled with this energy, you feel like you can take on the world. When it is flowing strongly, you can actually feel it coursing through you in waves. It gushes up spontaneously from deep inside and restores, replenishes and recharges you.
The only reason you don't feel this energy all of the time is because you block it. You block it by closing your heart, by closing your mind, and by pulling yourself into a restrictive space inside. This closes you off from all the energy. When you close your heart or close your mind, you hide in the darkness within you. There is no light. There is no energy. There is nothing flowing. The energy is still there but you can't get in...
The yogis call energy "chakras." When you close your heart center, energy can't flow in. When energy can't flow in, there's darkness. Depending on how closed you are, you either feel tremendous disturbance or overwhelming lethargy...how many times have you experienced these dynamics in your life? You have a wellspring of beautiful energy inside of you. When you are open you feel it; when you are closed you don't. This flow of energy comes from the depth of your being. It's been called many things. In ancient Chinese medicine, it is called "Chi." In yoga, it is often called "Shakti." In the West, it is called "Spirit." Call it anything you want. That spiritual energy is what you're experiencing when love rushes up into your heart.
The more you stay open, the more energy flows can build. At some point, so much energy comes into you that it starts flowing out of you. You feel it as waves pouring off of you...what is more, it affects other people. People can pick up on your energy, and you're feeding them with this flow. If you are willing to open even more, it never stops. You become a source of light for all of those around you.
Just keep opening and not closing. Wait until you see what happens to you...the most important thing in life is your inner energy. If you're always tired and never enthused, then life is no fun. But if you're always inspired and filled with energy, then every minute of every day is an exciting experience. Learn to work with these things...You do this by relaxing and releasing. You do this by not buying into the concept that there is anything worth closing over. Remember, if you love life, nothing is worth closing over. Nothing, ever, is worth closing your heart over.
Okay, I admit - I got a little carried away with the borrowed words above, but they resonated so strongly with me that I thought I'd share them with you. I definitely recommend reading the book. But, more so, I recommend approaching life with an open heart and open mind, and exploring where it takes you. It can be vulnerable and it can be damn-scary, but it's always worth the learning experience in the end, no matter how many tears are shed. Crying is therapeutic, right? And after all, if you truly love life, nothing is worth closing your heart over. Ever.
Loving big and making connections are my superpowers. Unapologetically. What is/are yours?